Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Laughing Christ

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Laughing Christ: Collected Reflections of Joseph Galdon, S.J.

Cover Design by Toots Magsino (New York): Member, ofwparasapamilya.com

Article written by Michelle Dayrit-Soliven.
The Philippine Star, October 19, 2008. Republished here with permission of the author.

He spoke of love. His heart was full of it. He gave it freely. Tirelessly, he enriched these young ladies’ lives with his own special brand of love and laughter, wisdom and prayer. To them, Fr. Joseph Galdon, S.J. is a well loved teacher, preacher, mentor and spiritual director.

To preserve the nuggets of wisdom they have learned from Fr. Galdon, these women came up with a tome titled “Laughing Christ: Collected Reflections of Joseph Galdon, SJ.”

“More than four decades ago, there began a special love affair between Fr. Galdon and his women Jesuits or Jesuitas as he fondly referred to them,” my friend Toots Magsino, a Jesuita, wrote in the introduction of Laughing Christ, whose cover design was made by her. "At the urging of some of his women students, he took on the challenge of leading a weekend retreat that was meant to help in their spiritual quest. It was called Prayer Days for Coeds (PDC) and was held at the Ateneo de Manila University grounds. Since then, he has touched hundreds of coeds and gifted them with enough precious lessons to last a lifetime.”

Fr. Galdon taught them the important concept behind “love in the open hand,” urged them to remove their mask and celebrate their individuality and helped them embrace the idea of letting go and letting God.” He always reminded his Jesuitas that they are all terrific and that there is no such thing as bad girls, only scared ones.

I spoke with some of the Jesuitas who were involved in the making of the book and they shared with me their beautiful memories and lessons learned from Fr. Galdon. Here goes…

Toots Magsino, Filipino painter based in New York
I consider myself very privileged to be called a Jesuita. Attending my first PDC weekend had such a great impact on me that I came back several times after to assist other women experience this life changing event. Those weekend retreats formed intimate bonds between Father G. and the women who attended them. Through that shared experience, our lives were forever changed and transformed.

My painting of the Laughing Christ (which adorns the cover of the book) was inspired by memories of those special Ateneo PDC Retreats. One of the main events during our “days of prayer” was the evening confession, where each participant was assigned to a father confessor, for a special one on one encounter. After confession we congregated in a darkened room for some quiet time and reflection. Amidst the darkness, a single candle illuminated the picture of the laughing Christ by Ralph Kozak. I had never seen that image of Jesus before. It was a beautiful portrayal of His humanity and I loved it. I felt the urge to interpret that wonderful image. I painted my own version of the laughing Christ in 1996 and dedicated it to Father G. during his 50th year as a Jesuit priest.

Cynthia Melocoton,
What I fondly remember about Fr. Galdon was how he erased my fear of confession. He had made this sacrament a very personal experience of the Lord’s love and mercy. I don’t think that people in general look forward to confession because it is embarrassing confessing your sins to a complete stranger. But Father G always understood us. He made confession a very positive experience. He made us feel that nothing can ever come between Jesus and a contrite heart.

He taught us to “love with an open hand.” We have all been broken and hurt at one time or another, and those moments often scar us for life. During our PDC weekends, Fr. G always reminded us to love with an open hand despite the scars. He encouraged us to always look to our Blessed Mother as our model. He points to Mama Mary with her palms outstretched before us—her open hands symbolizing her choice to love, to forgive, to give, to surrender… again and again and again.”

Yvonne Romualdez, businesswoman
It was Father G who taught me to kneel down at the end of every single day and complete the four steps of prayer by saying, “ I love you. Thank you. I praise you. Alleluia.” And if ever I forget, my seven-year-old daughter Carin and three-year-old son Cito, who have picked up this daily habit, are there to remind me. It’s so amazing that Fr. Galdon’s priceless lessons have now been passed on to the third generation.

Leah Sanchez,
During our growing up years Fr. Galdon’s presence in my life was very crucial. Whenever I talked to him of my hurts he would simply give the advice to LOVE, LOVE and LOVE. And so I realized that is why he always assigned me to lead the love talk during my college days. Fr. G reminded us that Christ demanded so little of us and yet he also taught us to give greatly. He taught us to kneel down every night before we go to sleep and recall the good and positive things we encountered during the day. And if we fall asleep praying that way, it would be a very strong form of prayer.

Tina Puno,
I will always remember Fr. G for the poem “Love in the Open Hand by Edna St. Vincent Millay. This is the poem he read at the start of the weekend. It taught us to open ourselves to the weekend and to love unselfishly. As the sonnet goes “love in the open hand, no thing but that, ungemmed, unhidden, wishing not to hurt…” He always quoted, “You’re beautiful! You’re terrific!”
***
I asked the Jesuitas why they came up with the “Laughing Christ,” a project that, according to them, took 12 years to make.

Tina said: “We were casually talking to Father G about printing another book since he had already published several namely “Mustard Seed “(the most popular one), “Chain of Love”, “Jubilee”, and more “Mustard seed” – aside from writing a weekly Sunday column.

From the Jesuitas, I learned that the book was initially spearheaded by Toots Magsino. When Toots left for New York to pursue her art studies, the work was taken over by Tina Puno, Jackie Uysiusend Reyes, Cres Rodriguez Yulo and her sister Det ( who took care of the re-typing from the original manuscript that Fr. Galdon passed on to Toots), Lizette Yulo (who took care of the funds), Myette Dizon Hizon, Aimee Cruz Agregado, Yvonne Dayrit-Romualdez and Cynthia Melocoton. With the assistance of Fr. Stein and the Jesuit Communications Foundation, the book was finally printed and launched.

At the recent launch , Fr. Jose Mario Francisco, SJ shared: “Though he can no longer be with us due to infirmity and old age—he’s afflicted with Alhzeimer’s disease—we are consoled that we now have his words in the ‘Laughing Christ.’ With this book we can recapture our experiences of listening to his voice. With it, others who never met him can still draw from his wellspring and learn from him. This is more than we, who love him so dearly, can ever ask for.”
***

I thank Tina Puno for gifting me with a copy of the book. As I browsed through the pages I was touched by “Be Kind” on page 276. Here, Fr. Galdon wrote:

“One of the most important things of the spirit is kindness. During a class on Anglo Saxon literature at Columbia University I learned that the word kindness is related to “kin” and “kindred” and comes from the old English word for “family.” It is so true that we learn kindness in the family — how to help those who are in need, how to think about others and not to think only about ourselves. I think we have learned over time that the greatest and happiest people in the world are kind people. They may not be rich. They may not be successful, but they are happy. The road to happiness always passes through the gate of kindness.”
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More than being just a good deep read, which it is, this is one book you will find yourself reading over and over again. It will touch your heart, feed your soul and nurture your spirit.

(For more information on Laughing Christ, please call 426-5971 to 72 loc. 113 or e-mail tanging.yaman@jescom.ph).

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Monday, October 27, 2008

Difficult People

10 Commandments of Handling Difficult People
Column written by
Francis J. Kong
The Philippine Star, October 16, 2008. Republished here with permission of the author.
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An arrogant government representative stopped at a farm and talked with the old farmer. "I need to inspect your farm." The old farmer said, "You better not go in that field."

The agricultural representative said in a wise tone, "I have the authority of the government with me. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on agricultural land."

So the old farmer went about his farm chores.

Later, the farmer heard loud screams. He saw the representative running for the fence, and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and was gaining at every step.

The old farmer called out: "Show him your card!"

Some people are just so difficult to deal with. I have been asked this question: "Francis, just how do you handle difficult people?" And my two-word answer is: "Very carefully."

There will always be people, who are simply difficult to deal with. Have you met people like these? I am sure you have and so have I. Now understand one important thing. Just because a person is educated is no guarantee that the person is cultured.

I have met people who are brash, rude, arrogant, proud even though they are highly educated. These are people with impressive educational degrees. I mean these people have got more degrees than a thermometer but they sure act, talk and behave rude and crude.

So how do you deal with people like these?

My response is: "You have to be kind to bacteria." Because to some people like these, bacteria is the only culture they have. I will not allow them to get on my nerves because I will not allow their rudeness to control me. He who angers you, controls you. We may not be able to control everyone but if there is only one person in the world we can control, it's the one you see on the mirror every day.

My partners and I offer the licensed Dr. John Maxwell leadership training programs and we deal with this subject matter intensively. Dr. John Maxwell offers the 10 commandments for handling difficult people:
  1. Use the 101-percent Principle. Find the one percent you agree on and give it 100 percent of your attention.
  2. Love people more than policies, but love truth more than people.
  3. Give others the benefit of the doubt.
  4. Learn to be flexible where you can.
  5. Check your own attitude.
  6. Don't overreact to conflict and disagreement.
  7. Welcome the conflict. Make it a learning experience.
  8. Provide an escape for the person in conflict. Let them maintain their dignity.
  9. Take a risk. Give people a second chance.
  10. Take the high road. Be generous and believe the best about others.
Commandment number 2 is important to me. Love people more than policies but love truth more than people. While we try to be as friendly, diplomatic and civil, there will come a time when the stand on truth takes prominence over people.

The truth is that people change. Some change for the better and others change for the worst. I have met both. I have met people whose lives were so messed up before and now they are all cleaned up. I have also met people who used to be trustworthy, respectable and humble, and today, they have become some of the most arrogant and worst charlatans you will ever meet in your life. This is why the most important thing to remember is that you and I should make an effort in changing for the better everyday. Better in competence but more importantly...better in character.

When the choice is presented before you. People or truth? Choose truth over people all the time. Do not strive to be popular. Strive to be Christ-like.

You can handle difficult people when people trust you for who and what you really are.

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Saturday, October 25, 2008

PsychConsult Inc.

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PsychConsult Inc.
A Firm of Qualified and Professional Psychologists
At Your Service



(Left to right - sitting): Sandra Ebrada, MA; Zachele Marie Briones, PhD (Cand.); Caridad Tarroja, PhD; Bernadette Go, MA.

(Left to right - standing): Araceli Alcala, MA; Evangeline Alianan-Bautista MA; Andrea Tirazona, MS (Cand.); Sharon Co, MA; Cristina Enriquez, MA.

(Not in picture): Arsenio Sze Alianan, PhD; May Lee, PhD (Cand); Lito Salinas, MA; Regina Diaz Goon, MA (Cand.)

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PsychConsult, Inc. is a professional firm of qualified psychologists, dedicated to the mental and psychological health and well-being of the individual, groups and families, and to the healing of emotional and psychological wounds.

Their services include individual and group therapy, family and marital therapy, children and play therapy, psychological evaluation and clinical assessment, workshops and talks, and programs customized to promote the mental and emotional wellness of individuals and groups, based on their specific needs.

The firm's consultants have advanced graduate studies and degrees, as well as practical experience in the clinical/counselling areas of psychology and education. Their specializations include: clinical/counseling psychology, child and family development, and educational psychology, applied in a clinical, academe or hospital setting. Prior to coming together at PsychConsult, Inc., the consultant psychologists had been actively involved in their own consultancies and clinical work for a minimum of 6 years, including various positions in universities and hospitals.

Since its inception in 2001, PsychConsult, Inc. has endeavored to provide the best quality clinical/counseling psychological services to the community--helping one client at a time to grow and become more mindful of her/his sense of wholeness and well-being.

The psychologists of PsychConsult, Inc. stand ready to serve the Filipino OFWs, expats, immigrants and the Global Pinoy community. They take turns in responding to the Magtanong sa Psychologist and other Family Care questions, posted on www.ofwparasapamilya.com; they will conduct online workshops and seminars, and of course attend to group or individual counseling appointments. These services are available not just to overseas Filipinos but also to their families and other Pinoys living in the Philippines.

Ngayon. Hindi Ka Nag-Iisa...One. Filipino. Never Alone.

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